Stock-taking

     A perspicuous, good friend recently asked me in an email if anyone had done a study on the changing emotional states of Peace Corps volunteers during their 27-month service.  During training we were given a Peace Corps handout entitled: The Cycle of Vulnerability and Adjustment. On the graph there is a midline separating vulnerability on the bottom and adjustment on above.  After the experiences of thousands of PCVs, the PC can pretty much pinpoint what a volunteer is experiencing from where the volunteer is in their period of service.  At the start of service there is a wavy line from small highs to small lows ... honeymoon, mixed culture shock, did I really sign up for this, etc.  About 6 months in  there is a steady time when volunteers are feeling good, their work is starting to come together.  Then there is a mid-service dip: a year left to go, the newness has worn off; followed by another period from 18 to 24 months when all your projects are clicking and you feel positive about being in your country.  Finally, during the last 3 months emotions dip again as volunteers think about returning home to find jobs, apply to grad schools, pay off student loans or in our case, put our house back together again, buy cars,  and re-enter our lives in Denver. 

      I would say that this cycle fairly reflects our Peace Corps experience.

       Our days vary.  I will be very well prepared to teach something and it will be a flop.  On another day something wonderful and unexpected will happen: from hugs and smiles, to knowing we have connected to a student in a personal, meaningful way. Recently I had a long day of ups and downs.  We have been asked to teach an English Language class for juniors (we teach separate sections).  We teach Day 4 which comes every 6th day.  There are more than 50 students in each section and many do not care about learning, have weak English skills,  and find disrupting the class much more entertaining.  I assigned a long-term project on Designing a Clean High School campaign.  It did not go well, leaving those who want to learn and me very frustrated.  On the other hand,  earlier in the day I had a very heartbreaking conversation (see February 24, 2015 blog entry) with a favorite student which left me sad, but also pleased that she would talk with me.

       We are 20 months into this adventure, so some stock taking is inevitable.  My siSwati is still pretty bad.  I hear poorly and have a bad memory.  Oh, I can say the mandatory greetings and communicate some very basic information, but I will never be able to carry on a conversation in which feelings are communicated.  My value to students is speaking and teaching English which will help them move from poverty to some level self-sufficiency if the economy ever improves here. Mark has been much more diligent than I have in learning the language.  I find I would rather put my time into my teaching than learning siSwati.  I am not very motivated. We will be tested on language acquisition at close of service, and I am resigned to doing poorly. 

       Though hard to prove quantitatively ( a chronic problem for the Peace Corps ) I know we are helping and it feels good.  Will our 27 months here have made a difference?  It certainly will for some young people.  On the whole we would both say it has been worth it, though on any given day the irritations (bug bites, dust, smelly latrine full of cockroaches, the heat, inability of Swazis to plan ahead .... ) can make life hard.  We both wonder what life will be like back in Denver.  We won't have school children running up to greet us on their walk to school  or people interested in us because we are white and from America.  We won't be special any more.

                Many of the volunteers are planning exotic trips ( India, Thailand, other parts of Africa) after finishing here in August.  Mark gave a big trip serious thought, but I persuaded him that the whole 27 months has been a big adventure and that I am tired of traveling.  Besides it turns out our grandson's daycare center is taking a week's vacation, and he will need his grandparents to look after him!  So after a short stop in DC, we expect to be back in Denver in early September.