Condoms and Khisimusi in the Kingdom

We have obtained permission from the major grocery store (think King Soopers, but maybe 1/20^th the size, and 1/100^th the selection) and also permission from a smaller store to leave boxes of condoms for people to take, for free, and we have been regularly replenishing those locations with condoms we bring in our backpacks from PC headquarters in Mbabane (3 khumbi rides away), although now we're all out. Nompumelelo has wanted to distribute condoms and also demonstrate proper condom use at the town bar. The bar is dark, really noisy, and full of drunks most of the day, and is one of the few places here where I feel a little vulnerable. Nonetheless, we arranged with the owner to be allowed to visit with her customers this past Sunday afternoon, but they were watching a football game and there was no way we could be heard inside the bar, so we went to the picnic table outside and gave several demonstrations on our life-sized models of male and female genitalia of the proper installation and use of the male and female condoms. Some heavy kidding and loud interruptions from some of the more inebriated patrons, but the women (very few women were there) were closely attentive, especially when Katherine told them how much more vulnerable women are to HIV than men, because of anatomy and social norms. Then we went inside, where it was dark, noisy and crowded with maybe 70 men and maybe 8 women, and handed out free condoms till we ran out. The women really wanted the female condoms, but they are hard to get and we didn't have many. People don't like having their picture taken, so I did not photograph the demonstrations, but afterwords we bought a beer and went out to the tables outside, and were mostly courteously received. We viewed having this beer late afternoon with our new friends as finishing our week of library work (although we had a full morning of that left on Monday ) and starting the holiday festivities for us.

 

Doing these condom demonstrations in this bar was really hard. Few would have been brave enough to go to that bar and talk about use of condoms, much less pull out models of male and then female genitalia and shown how condoms are used. Some of the drunks were belligerent. Nomphumelelo handled them all with humor and grace , and got her point across, mostly. She really is extraordinary. Working and just living in this country has brought out in her skills and behavior barely hinted at in our 39 years together in the US. I am constantly in awe at what I'm seeing from her. Not just boldness, as at the bar, but quick thinking in remembering the names of many of the people we've met and what is of interest to each of them, and coming up with ingenious ways to move our projects here forward.

As we walked home in the golden light of the end of the afternoon several groups we passed asked for condoms. Initially I was a little dismayed thinking that we were now known in our community as the free condom couple, but on further review, it seemed OK.

We had believed Katherine would be just getting back now from a last visit with her father, and so we scheduled a quiet Christmas at this farm B&B near our site where we had stayed in September for one beautiful night. Katherine's December trip was however canceled when her father died so much more quickly than expected. When we booked this place we'd sent an invitation to the PCVs in our group if they wanted to join us at the “backpackers” part of this place (US$15/night, compared to $65/night in the separate “chalet”), but Christmas with people their parents' age didn't seem to appeal to them, and I think they wanted a little more action, so they all got together at a hostel closer to town, and also at a site in the mountains where they will cook and drink and sleep on the floor.

Here we are arriving at our B&B, loaded with computer, clothes for 3 days, and some gifts my thoughtful, clever and generous sister bought, wrapped and sent before Thanksgiving!

We assembled the small Christmas tree she had sent, to set the right tone, listening to the Nutcracke We had Christmas breakfast on the porch of our chalet

In the late afternoon I “braiied” (South African for grilled) our Christmas steak dinner, from cattle from the farm.

It was overcast and cool (60s, probably) Christmas day. Unfortunately the adjacent travel days were sunny and really hot. The store where we shopped to buy for our Christmas visit (these places are generally self-catering) was packed, check-out lines extending up the aisles to the back of the store – gridlock! We were really glad to get to our B&B and relax, swim, and cool off!

We try to catch the BBC South Africa 6:30 a.m. Broadcast on a shortwave radio Bob Keyser gave us, which we enjoy immensely. The 2^nd ½ of each broadcast is typically soccer and cricket. Imagine our surprise a few days ago to hear of Peyton Manning breaking the season passing record. But it said only that he played “American football,” and nothing was mentioned of the fortunes of his team; we assume the Broncos must have done well, with that much passing success. Not much ground game? Playoffs?

This posting and the previous one were, I know, kind of wordy. Sorry. No worries, there will not be a test. Just wanted to set the scene. Incwala and the bar were not much for photo ops. So I hope all of you had, as we say here, Khisimusi lomuhle (beautiful Christmas).

"'Twas the week before Xmas" plus some July 4 and Thanksgiving too

Friday day we attended part of Incwala, roughly translated as “first fruits festival”, one of the 2 key peculiarly Swazi holidays. (The other is in August, when teenage “virgins” (defined as not having given birth) dance for the king; some years he chooses a new wife from among them, as he did this year. Those of us who are trying to prevent the spread of HIV through what is known in the trade as “multiple concurrent sexual partners” would prefer a different behavioral modeling, but I digress.)

The date of Incwala is chosen in part around the full moon and the solstice, but the particular day was decreed by the king only a week or so ago, and businesses were instructed not to open, or to close by 1 PM. (Imagine the howl from retailers in the US if that occurred 5 days before Christmas – there have been decorations and western-style Christmas carols in the stores since mid-November, or earlier.) Previously “regiments” of young men had walked to the Indian Ocean and to a river in South Africa (the Limpopo) and brought back water; I've noted that both are areas once included in Swaziland, and wondered whether there is some territorial longing involved here, but those I have asked deny it. As these “water people” come through the communities they impose a small “voluntary” fine, which reminded us a little of the monks in Thailand; we think the man who hit us up was disappointed in our contribution, but we are volunteers.

After the water is brought back the regiments and other men camp in fields near the king's residence in the beautiful Ezulweni Valley. Several days of rituals involved gathering sacred herbs, slaughtering a bull (reputedly with their bare hands!), weeding the king's fields, and gathering wood for fires and the King's Kraal (“corral” is derived from that word) culminate in the main event, which we attended.

The stores in Manzini, the commercial center of the country, were mostly closed, and those that were open were nearly empty, as were the streets as we came through in the morning. We took a khumbi to the seat of government, where the King's residence, Kraal, and the building where parliament meets are all located together (so, the equivalent of the Washington DC mall). We arrived by 10:30, and little was happening, met up with some other PCVs, had some lunch, waited some more, and by 2 PM wandered towards the King's Kraal, shown in the background of this picture of Abdul and Lauren, PCVs from the group ahead of us.

 

We then had to separate, with the women going through a separate entrance, and getting a better view, because there were far fewer of them.

My friend Abdul, from the PC group ahead of us, and I went through the metal detector, passed the ornate marching band, and into the Kraal, and joined around 3 thousand men in rows around our end of the Kraal, which was around 120 yards in diameter. The men were dressed as I show in the picture, which is of the Member of Parliament from our area (on my right), although the MP has more of a headdress than most. The man beside him did not go in to “dance;” I was one of only a very few in “civvies” who went into the Kraal. I wonder if that offended some?

The crowd was mostly silent except for a rhythmic low chant and treading of feet in time, and occasional shrill whistles. Manifestly the Kraal continues to be used for its original purpose, when Incwala was not happening, as piles all around, including right at my feet, attested.

Throughout this country we have been generally warmly welcomed, but here we were only tolerated. When I wasn't holding my ritual branch (4 Rand = 40 US cents) correctly (I was leaning on it – a long day), and especially when I tried to take a picture inside the Kraal, I was corrected, sternly concerning the camera. No one offered an explanation, partly because they were concentrating on what they were doing, and partly because men in their 40s and up in this country are the weakest in English, and my siSwati is even weaker than their English. Many men were there with their sons in what was clearly an oft-repeated generational ritual. Many greeted each other warmly; the regiments are drawn from throughout the country, in a conscious and, I think, highly successful attempt to instill friendships and a feeling of national unity.

The King came out and walked around the enclosure and performed some rituals, but I could barely see. I've read about them since. We needed to catch a khumbi and then a bus back to our village and walk 2 km, and we don't like to be on our road after dark, so we had arranged with the ladies to meet outside the Kraal at 4. When we got back to our homestead our host family was fascinated that we had attended Incwala. Their explanation of the fact that this was the first event I'd attended of more than a dozen people in this country that did not open and close with a Christian prayer was that the whole event was worship – thanks for the first fruits, as well as a celebration of kingship. Nonetheless, I was struck by the total absence of any Christian reference, in a central ceremony in a country that is insistently and aggressively Christian in every other public event. My outsider's explanation is that the Christian overlay is only 170 years old here and goes only so deep, and this ritual is older and parallel to, but separate from, Swazi Christianity.

     Those of you who have been reading our blogs probably think we spend all our time in game preserves and cultural events. I wish. Those visits are the photo ops. Everyone has gone home from the schools, but Nomphumelelo has become so frustrated with the unavailability of library at the Railway Primary School (the better school where we have been teaching) that we've spent most days this past week labeling, alphabetizing, and listing on our computer the books they received last fall (May, '13) through the Books For Africa application of our predecessor PCVs. We've been reading to the children on the playground, and they've become more insistent, asking when they can read and take out the books from the library. When, indeed. It's really hard to get some things to happen in this country, and the teacher who was supposed to get the library up is not interested, so nothing was done. Here is the library, as we are working on the organization. New Home Ec classrooms are being completed and construction materials for that are stored in the library which is not, after all, being used for anything now. Grrr.

We have heard from some of you that you have donated to Books for Africa in response to our earlier blog requests. Thank you for your generous responses – we are very touched that you would support us and a project important to us this way. If we are successful in our application (should hear any day now) we will do all we can to be sure the books quickly become available to the students at the local high school for which we applied. We do not have a list of who gave yet, which is why we have not been able to thank you, so we will here – thanks very, very much!! We think these books are greatly desired, and important.

I have been trying to find a way to reduce the size of pictures that I send, to save me and you time downloading and help them fit on your screen. I think I have a way. Let me know if the pictures in this blog are a better size, or not.

Mlawula Game Preserve and some Christmas in Swaziland

I spent 3 days last week in the PC office in the capital, Mbabane, helping produce the December issue of the monthly PC SZ newsletter and learning the Publisher program and how to create a newsletter. Learning the technology to communicate a little in this country has been one of the more difficult aspects of being here: tethering our computer to the different phones, buying and transferring airtime and data, protecting our computer, the many passwords to keep track of and virus attacks to try to avoid. Working through the PC SZ office computers, scanner, printer and router, coordinating with data from the newsletter email and from various other computers, and learning how to insert text and photos, was yet another maize of puzzles. Hope I remember for my next foray, which won't, unfortunately, be till February. The previous year's PCVs were extremely helpful in the learning process. For those masochists inexplicably feeling the need for even more Fulford writing, there are 2 KUF (one on SZ birds – illustrated!) and several Mark articles in the December issue we put out.  It should be posted in Peace Corps at http://swaziland.peacecorps.gov/newsletters.php , but I just went there and noticed our edition hasn't been posted yet; we have much to learn. 

The services for Katherine's father are in Concord, NH January 11, 2014. The PC is flying Katherine back on “emergency personal leave” and they are allowing me to go without charging me vacation time; they love Katherine, and have been very thoughtful, responsive and supportive in dealing with this, although pinning down the travel arrangements in 2 languages, with erratic and uncertain communication, changing plans, and critical people on vacation has been a little stressful as we've worked through the details and caught and corrected misunderstandings and mistakes, re-sent emails and text messages, and coordinated with Katherine's siblings, who have carried all the burden of winding up their father's affairs.

Earlier in the week a volunteer from the previous group whom we like a lot asked if we wanted to go with her and her friend Daniel to a nature preserve in the northeast of the country that can't be reached or explored effectively by public transportation or on foot. He is a German computer specialist whom she met in Bloomington, Ill. (not a typo – Illinois) and he came here and has held several jobs. And he has a 4WD truck!

The preserve is on the “mountains” (2000') on the Eastern edge of the country and is known as a great birding destination because of the variety of terrain, but we had only limited success with the birds. A spectacular Malachite Kingfisher was the high point. We saw some zebra, wildebeest, kudu, impala and tortoises.

It was beautiful, very comfortable, and really nice to be with our friends. We had cool and delicious 10 proof cider on the treetop bar overlooking the valley,

hiked and explored some,

swam in the pool,

and posed after a plentiful breakfast

before we left for the 98°F heat in our hut.

Last week 2 PCVs from our group came by, we showed them around, and they came back to our hut for lunch. It occurred to us that was our Christmas party for '13; we should have put out the decorations my sister thoughtfully sent us before Thanksgiving. In weather always in the 70s, sometimes close to 100 F, its hard to feel very Christmassy.

We showed them the refugee camp, where we were happy to see that some beautiful new playground equipment had been installed. But the gates were locked and blocked with barricades of acacia branches; a functionary from some ministry had to come to “launch” the playground. We see this frequently – a project gets nearly ready to be useful, but is then stopped, and no one can enjoy it. In showing our friends the library, the gate was left open, and soon dozens of children had streamed into the playground. Two of them were students I have taught at the local primary schools; when they came up and greeted me I had them pose.

Christmas came early this year for me, in a sense. The Peace Corps pays part of the purchase price for a bike it you can make a case you need it for work. I was awarded US $250, and after much investigation I bought an 18 speed Axis (I think its South African) with front shocks. Brought it back to our site from Manzini in the boot of a bus; I'd have loved to have ridden the 25 miles, but not on the 2-lane road with the heavy trucks speeding by.  So when I got back, I had to take it for a spin, even in the rain.

 

Thanksgiving, and Katherine's father

The PC Country Director had all 70+ PCVs and whomever wanted to come from the embassy to his house for Thanksgiving. It was really fun to see all of our group, find out about their sites and work, and madly trade media. (“So great to see ya – didja bring your hard drive? Got Parks & Rec, Seasons 3 & 4? Ah, any Mozart or Beethoven?” Much better luck with the former than the latter.) It was also good to be on a closer to equal footing with the group who have been here a year; we've now finished “Integration Period” so we can travel and stay anywhere in the country for 2 nights or less and it doesn't count as vacation, and no prior approval required, as would be the case if we left the country. This is one of the few contexts in which I regret the small size of this country, but there are still many interesting and beautiful places we want to visit here. And plenty to show any visitors who choose to come through!

I was immediately volunteered to assist the Country Director in surgery on 7 turkeys cooked at the local grocery chain's kitchens – interesting how certain age/gender role stereotypes linger.

He addressed the group on his lawn, his house in the background. You can't see, but there's a 10' wall all around his property.

And then we plowed into a terrific Thanksgiving feast.

When we got back our Babe (the father in the homestead, pronounced bâbē) was shaking something from the tree to the ground and gathering them for his Make (the mom in the homestead, Babe's wife, pronounced mâgē) and Gogo (the grandmother in the homestead, actually his brother's widow, but here roles are more important than actual relationships; bosisi and bobhuti (sisters and brothers) can have 1 or even 2 different parents). Yumm, caterpillers. I think you roast them. We told them we already had dinner plans.

The next morning Babe and 3 neighbor boys who were helping him poured milk out of a gourd, where it had been sitting for 3 days, ladled out the more solid part (curd?), filtered that, and set it aside to be eaten – emasi = sour milk. A delicacy!

Katherine learned 2 weeks ago that her father's cancer has come back and was all through his body, and that he did not have long. She quickly arranged with the PC to fly out yesterday to see him one last time, but he died Monday; she was able to talk with him briefly 2 days before he died, and she had been talking with him about weekly all this spring. His loss is hard for her under any circumstances; being so far away, with the erratic communications, compounds the pain and has been stressful as plans have had to be quickly revised.

Fred Upton was, in his time, the preeminent lawyer in New Hampshire, doing it the old-fashioned way: a bank charter this morning, estate plan this afternoon, securities offering tomorrow, and a jury trial next week. And tops at all of them. Vigorous, witty, widely read and full of wry humor, he's been fighting various cancers for 10 years now, not to mention 3 joint replacements. He was loved and respected in the legal community, and was brought in, even in his retirement, when they had a tough problem.

He'd have been 95 Dec. 21. We should all have such a full life.

Katherine's family have been extremely loving, understanding and supportive to her, letting us know of developments, and scheduling a memorial service when she would have been in NH and then re-scheduling for January 11, in Concord NH, when Katherine will now go back. And the PC has also been responsive and supportive, swiftly making and then canceling travel plans this week and then reaching out to get Katherine “emergency” personal leave for the trip back in January. Like everyone in SZ, the PC management loves Katherine and wanted to help her all they could, and our fellow PCVs have, in their inimitable ways, shown their support and sorrow – one lovely letter in particular, and then a play list of appropriate songs on a flashdrive. We were really touched.

Katherine will go back for the January 11 service, and Mark – I'll be just fine; I'm learning to cook beans - you have to wash them a whole lot to get the gravel out, and then boil them and let them soak for a day. Some other stuff too. No barbecue or pizza joints within walking distance.